The Little Black Book that many unknown Englishmen claim to hold the secret of life. Learn how to accept with them:
Most of the world is shit
Let’s not deny it. The weather’s shit, your job is shit, television is shit. The news, especially, is shit.
Hope for the best, and you’ll be disappointed
When expectations are low, it’s hard to be disappointed.
Learn how to lower your expectations and your standards.
People who grin all the time look stupid
Or at best, American. Learn how to keep the corners of you mouth down.
Never look anyone straight in the eye
Unless you want to seduce or be killed.
Nobody likes a smart-arse
How to downplay your knowledge and learn.
Choose your friends carefully
Avoid keeping company with people who are more successful than you - they will make you fell inadequate and dull. At the same time, hanging out with losers can be depressing. Try to find people who like you enough to buy you a drink, but who won’t bore you with their endless tales of woe.
Don’t pretend it’s better than it is
Reality will get you in the end. Make sure you’re prepared.
Follow this book and nothing will compare to the shock you’ll feel if something good happens!
